Lazy

Not sure why I haven't been writing here - I've been very busy this winter. More so than I wanted to. I started to worry that I'm not going to be ready for spring, I need to order more bees, paint my new beehive I am going to put out, order seeds, pay for all of this stuff, work, etc and blah, blah. Then I realized today that by next Wednedaay they are predicting that there could be a record cold spell and I remember we are only 9 days into the year. What a dope I can be some times.

I don't know why I continue to expect it, but at some point I just think there will be this big pause in my life where I can just lay around and watch TV and work on puzzles. I know what I could do to get a pause like that, but then I would probably loose my job, my house and all of the 'stuff' I have. I guess I should quit talking about some future crime or bad behavior. It seems like when things happen the media always finds a blog, or a myspace page with the details of the crime all planned out. How did I even get on this subject?

I've been thinking a lot about selfishness lately - what is and isn't selfish and what is depressing is how selfish my life is most of the time. I guess the motives behind some of my actions are good - but then doing good and then feeling good becuase you did a good things. So technically the good feeling that you get it selfish. I wish I could say the only selfish things I did were to feel good after doing something for someone else, but that would be a lie. So the quest for the truth continues and I'll just be sitting pondering all these seemingly dogmatic things for a while.