Agree to disagree or thirty thre

I've learned a little bit in the 33 years I've been around. Some days I think I know more than others. Today I'm not really sure. I've been in a really sort of waffling sort of mood. I read something a little bit ago that sort of irked me and I was going to write this thing that just tore it apart. Something mean.

Then I thought to myself that it wouldn't be respectful to do that. Who am I to question someone else's thoughts?

Why does life make such perfect sense one minute and then the next none at all. All I've ever been able to come up with are others words, which I can only sum up. Life is exactly the way it is supposed to be right at this moment. Life is good because of the good choices I made, it is also bad because of the not so good choices I made.

After thinking about the last line for a while I can arrive at the conclusion that life is what I make of it. My perception of good and bad is just that, what I THINK it is. I can look at some of the terrible consequences in my life that are a direct result of my actions and see almost equally good that has resulted from it. It is not an understatement to say that I probably would be truly miserable had I not made some truly appalling choices. How that works out is one of the things in this life that I haven't sorted out. I mainly just know that it works.

I have a good friend who I sometimes wish I could be. He is probably the most selfless person I've ever met. He has the biggest smile and the heartiest laugh and he just makes you feel better when he is around. He has made it his life's work to help others and does it with his most valuable possession - his time.

I think of often the words in the bible - Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. I've noticed that I am terrible at this and I do everything in my power most of the time to keep my big mouth shut when a little thought pops into my head. Tonight I was talking with someone at work about anorexia and whether or not it is a disease. Immediately after I finished a skinny woman walks up and asks where to find a particular laxative. I'll let you imagine the thoughts that popped into my head, but I bit my tongue after she walked away and didn't say anything.

To be fair to myself I have to share an example of when I didn't keep my mouth shut. I was speaking with a diabetic gentleman on the phone who was using a lot of insulin which was ordered on a scale that reflected his carb intake. I made the comment to him that perhaps he was eating to many carbs and I got total silence. I meant no harm by it, I was merely trying to get him to laugh. All that was bad enough, but then I kept at it with the person I was working with asking if they had seen him - was he overweight? I felt really bad about this and ended up calling back to apologize.

I guess the point that I am trying to make is that why should I judge others for who they are or what belief they have. They are just doing their best to try and get along in this world the best way that they know how. If I judge them in the above fashion - how can I be mad or hurt when a similar judgement is made of me.

What needs to be differentiated at this point is the difference of judgement for survival or judging just for the sake of judging. I need to be able to judge whether or not my life is in danger - not whether someone is an idiot or if they are leading a life I don't understand. This world has billions of people in it and each one of them has a different opinion about something, I can choose to agree or disagree with it, but I have no right to belittle them for their opinion. Personally just agreeing to disagree (or just remaining silent) is generally the best route for me. I would think 33 years would be long enough to figure this out, but I will probably need at least 33 more before I am even close.