The way out

I mentioned in my last blog that when I have a problem staring me in the face and I feel hopeless that it will never be solved most of the time I will fuss about it and then after a while - sometimes after at least a few months a solution will present itself.

I generally have to take a big step back from it and look at it as a big picture. The problem I spoke about was in my last blog was one that I had to deal with about 4 years ago. I wasn't very happy with my life, my job, just my situation. I felt like every aspect of it was controlled by someone other than me. I felt hopelessly trapped and didn't see any way out of it.

It really bothered me for quite some time. This again was something that overall I never thought I could solve. It's a little fuzzy now, but what I do remember is that somewhere along the way I began to realize that even though in the present moment I don't have a lot I can do to change what is happening I could do two things. The first and most difficult was to accept things the way they were at that very moment in time. If there was any aspect of my life that I didn't like I had to get it through my head that I was the problem, not the situation that I disliked.

The other part of the solution had to do with this, but with one minor albeit important difference. That I had the choice on how to act towards these situations. That there were parts of my life that no one else could control - that being what goes on in my head. Even thought at the time I wanted to have more visitiation with my children I could let the limited time I did have them make me miserable. I had to make the best of the time and try to do the most enjoyable things I could think of with them. I could arrange my schedule so that I didn't have anything when I did have them. Once I was able to do this I began to notice that my life wasn't all that bad. That even though things were not the way I wanted them to be at the present moment that they would more than likely change.

The big picture showed me that massive changes in my life put me in the present unlikable situation I was in and that more than likely there would be more unforseable massive changes lurking on the horizion.

Am I perfect at this? Not by a long shot, but I have more happy days than sad days now and if there is something in my life that I don't like I know that if I can accpet it for what it is and then decide if it is really that bad or if there is something that I can do to change it.

So will a solution to my busy problems surface like the one I had to my choices problem. I don't know, but today I am able to sit back and wait for it to happen. Why did I title my blog the way out. The solution that I discovered - living in the moment is the way out of suffering for me and will be for the rest of my life. What will the solution to being overinterested in life be? Time holds the secret.