In bloom

October in Minnesota is not typically the time of year that flowers are thought of.  To think of a cactus flower blooming in Minnesota would be even more unusual.  But the following is a picture of some cactus flowers I took a few years ago in June.

This is a variety of prickly pear that came from Colorado that is hardy in Minnesota.  So far it’s the only variety I’ve had bloom, but it is spectacular!  The flowers only last for a day or so and after that they quickly wither.  I am hoping next summer to see more of them and be able share those with this blog.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about defects and virtues.  One I want to explore has a couple of opposites.  The virtue is perseverance and the defect would be stubbornness or defiance.  I have had an abundance of both sides of this pair in my life.  Picture a person who is being told that for whatever reason that they can’t or shouldn’t do something.  The person receiving the message responds with “watch me!”.  Now this description is one that is left open to good or bad and short or long term.

To give one example of a good long term example that I experienced, I’ll take you back to Grandma’s restaurant in Duluth about 13 years ago.  It was there that I sat with friends and discussed the possibility of a class on addiction and what it would take to bring this class into existence at the college of pharmacy in Minnesota.  Let’s just say for brevity’s sake that my response was “watch me”.  Lo and behold a year later the class came into existence!  This to me was one of many examples in my life where perseverance in the face of difficulties lead to something amazing.

On the complete opposite spectrum is my drug and alcohol addiction.  Again, it’s not the time or place to hash out the details, but there were many episodes of being stubborn and defiant that brought me down to rock bottom.  Likewise there was a great deal of perseverance involved that has kept me sober for 13 years.

Another set of virtue and defect and one that I see the same qualities in.  If they are used for good, the results are astounding.  If used for not so good, they can literally kill a person.

At the current moment I’m faced with a good situation that is fed everyday and is driving me towards another “watch me” moment.  I have not been able to rocket ahead with my plans yet as I have not landed on the winning idea, but I am getting close.  I know that what I’m trying to do is come up with a plan to allow me to make a living helping people.  I don’t see a lot of downside to this other than the obvious fact that at the moment I don’t have a job to support my family while I develop this general idea.

The interesting dilemma I am seeing as I ponder is how this could turn into stubbornness.  Balancing this pair for good is tricky because it is again something that requires perspective.  My own perspective is the positive perseverance side.  A few outsiders I know are not agreeing and thinking I should take the easy way out and just get a good job that pays a crappy wage, that I will likely get bored at and move on from a little older and little more beat up from.  Other friends are curious and see the good.

Ultimately, time will be the judge of whether or not my actions are virtuous or defective.  I’m hoping that like my cactus that’s tough enough to handle the brutal weather Minnesota can throw at it, I am able to thrive and bloom in a seemingly adverse environment where people value safety over serenity. I just watched a show tonight which the title of the episode was “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.”  That’s what I want and that’s what I will get.