My aching back

I went sledding today in my man made sled hill. It is probably at least 10 feet tall now, maybe a little taller. There were two problems though that I discovered while sledding with the boys this afternoon. First of all it was really cold and when it gets cold as you may or may not know the snow gets incredibly hard. So it's a smooth pile with no way to climb up it, so I had to chop some steps in it just to climb up. The other problem is that there is a foot and half drop from the edge of the pile to the ground so you sort of fly through the air. After about the forty-third time going down the hill, my back was hurting a little from the drop. The next time though I hit the bump and thought I heard a crunch that was more than just snow. By the time by sled skidded to a stop I could hardly move my back and I could only lay there.

Keep in mind that it is -1 degree with a light wind blowing from the west. I didn't even feel it though. I just laid there thinking I was never going to get up. The dog helped though - she came over and tried to lick me in the face. Since I'm not a big fan of this I finally was able to get up.

So now it hurt to bend over and it hurts to sit back in a chair. I guess I must have broken my tail bone or at least bruised it badly. I was going to write something about bees or ordering seeds tonight, but all of that seems unimportant. I have to see if I have any ben gay like substance in my house. I don't know if that will help, but for some morbid reason they smell good for a little while. After a while it smells like a locker room and then like old people. I guess I need to be careful. I will probably check to see if I can find a chiropractor or something since I'm pretty sure they aren't going to put a cast on a broken coccyx.

Patience and Procrastination

I've been thinking about patience lately, in doing so I reminded myself that at one point I had a big idea to write a book. One of the subjects was going to be patience. What's really interesting about this now is that the book was going to compare good attibutes - patience, good-work ethic, strong faith, etc and show just how close the "character defects" can be to the good ones. Taking the above examples - procrastination, workaholic, ignorance.

The whole idea is that the opposites or at least what we percieve to be the opposite is really not all that much different. I don't think writing about all the opposites I can discover would be that hard. The part that I haven't figured out quite yet is how can you use this information for the good. What process would a person have to go through to take their fault - tweak it ever so slightly and have it turn into a strength. The concept of turning your greatest weakness into your greatest asset is a very attractive idea and one I've heard other people say and read many times. What I found was lacking is how do you make the switch - there has to be some way to just turn it on.

So let's take myself for example - I am a terrible procrastintor and I am also very impatient. To me there should be some easy way to flip these two around. What that is at the present time elusive to me and I want to know it right now! The frustrating part of this is that by me procrastinating actually writing this book is actually the reason why I probably don't know the answer.

So round and round I go in my head thinking about things like this, I feel like the answer is in my own head and maybe I need to figure it out before I can start with this. There again I probably just need to be more patient...

Lazy

Not sure why I haven't been writing here - I've been very busy this winter. More so than I wanted to. I started to worry that I'm not going to be ready for spring, I need to order more bees, paint my new beehive I am going to put out, order seeds, pay for all of this stuff, work, etc and blah, blah. Then I realized today that by next Wednedaay they are predicting that there could be a record cold spell and I remember we are only 9 days into the year. What a dope I can be some times.

I don't know why I continue to expect it, but at some point I just think there will be this big pause in my life where I can just lay around and watch TV and work on puzzles. I know what I could do to get a pause like that, but then I would probably loose my job, my house and all of the 'stuff' I have. I guess I should quit talking about some future crime or bad behavior. It seems like when things happen the media always finds a blog, or a myspace page with the details of the crime all planned out. How did I even get on this subject?

I've been thinking a lot about selfishness lately - what is and isn't selfish and what is depressing is how selfish my life is most of the time. I guess the motives behind some of my actions are good - but then doing good and then feeling good becuase you did a good things. So technically the good feeling that you get it selfish. I wish I could say the only selfish things I did were to feel good after doing something for someone else, but that would be a lie. So the quest for the truth continues and I'll just be sitting pondering all these seemingly dogmatic things for a while.