Anger and Silence

I've been reading some really good quotes in the past week and I noticed that some of them sort of string together. I want to make sure that give credit where credit is due as I don't want to be a plagiarizing blogger like some are.

I've noticed that in the last 3 and 1/2 years there are times in my life when I find myself very angry at someone or something. Generally it passes after a while and I go on with my day and forget about why I was even angry to start with. What I've started to notice during this time is different though - mainly that when I am angry I end up in a much better position when I keep my mouth shut. If I can just keep quiet, walk away or just laugh at the situation I usually keep myself out of trouble. So on to the quotes that fired me up enough to write a blog entry on a Friday night. The first one is what made everything click in my head.

"Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power and is not easy." Aristotle

That is a 2000 year old truth that sort of whacked me in the head - when I read that all these other little things I've read over the past few days and a little longer came jumping into my mind.

The next one is take from the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous which was written mostly by Bill Willson the founder of AA.

"It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about 'justifiable' anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly angry with self-righteous folks? For us of AA these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it."

The last line is one that is quoted often and makes me go to the next quote which is from a person who I can't remember the name of who was quoting another person who I can't remember the name of. So I apologize that I can't properly recognize the person. To set it up a little bit, the person was speaking about her sponsor in an AA meeting (guess I probably couldn't quote her name anyway).

"The first thing you need to do is go home and put a note on your mirrors in your home that say "You are looking at the problem".

When I heard that I laughed and thought there is a true statement that most people will never understand fully and it's sad because I think some of our politicians should be doing this. That's perhaps a subject for a future blog post.

All of this lead me back to a quote I read a few years ago and one that I have been doing my darnedest to try to practice. It comes from Mark Twain.

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt".

Being angry is something that is going to happen to everyone at various points in their lives - there's no way around it. The choice of acting on that anger is where the true wisdom comes out - punching someone in the yap, screaming or just saying something is our natural tendency. Staying calm and being quiet in the face of an angering act is one of the most difficult things that we can do. I'm as guilty as the next person of acting on my anger - but after tonight I'm going to try harder to practice what other much, much smarter people have put forth in the above quotes.