Everything is moving slow - even my popcorn crop is only partially harvested. That's not quite so unusual since the popcorn I grow is a little longer in maturity than the normal types of corn planted around here. So I end up waiting a little longer to pick it and let mother nature do some of the drying for me.
All of this has me thinking about things that seem slower than normal lately. Why does it take as long as it does for me to change some of the bad habits in my life. When I actually have changed them it's taken much longer than it should have considering what happened around me. Why do I still procrastinate in other parts of my life? Why do I not listen to people who give me advice I ask for and then have to learn that they were right and I should have listened to. I just wish I could shake this slowness!
I probably am too hard on myself, but at the same time I probably won't ever improve myself if I'm not. I think part of my problem is that like many of the farmers who are having problems with their harvest I tend to take on more than I can realistically can handle. Like them I have a problem saying no. Then when it comes time to do those things that I said I would, I find myself outside doing some pointless thing like raking leaves, or reading some stupid pharmacy magazine or looking at things on the internet that have absolutely no bearing on what I really should be doing (like writing this blog).
The one time I thought I said no to someone was when someone from the town I lived in asked me to come to the Lion's meeting. I told him I would, but when the night came I actually forgot about it. I actually feel like I should apologize and then go to one of the meetings just because I said I would.
At times in my life I have found a massive source of energy for change and growth and right now I really could use some. I don't understand how or why it came at the times it did. I summoned up the courage and stamina to do things I could have never thought possible. I was able to focus my attention and being like a laser and accomplish more than six Farmer Dan's in the present time would even dream about.
Here is where some of my problems lie - I am sort of getting the feeling that some of the nervous, worry of all the farmers and their workers are throwing off is rubbing off on me. The same worry is coming from my customers at my real job about this health care plan that is coming out. That type of energy is really good for nothing, at least I know it is for me.
I guess it is energy and like electricity it's still the same electricity whether it comes from a generator powered by nuclear, wind or methane gas. Whether or not that worry energy I think I may be feeling can be changed or shaped into positive energy for my life is something I really don't know.
I'll let you know in the morning though what I figure out, right after I get done raking leaves...
